Could we beat the Twinkies for a change? Could we boof Bonser?

Twins 9 Sox 2 HIGHEST FRUSTRATION LEVEL

Smelly White Sox flap in the synthetic Minnesota breeze in mute decrepitude as the Twinkies appear Olympian, stainless, and unassailable.

Bad relief pitching makes bad starting pitching worse, but I switched off the game after Danks surrendered a second Babe Ruth – style bomb to make the score 5-1 in the third. Masset later entered to pour creosote, gasoline and other accelerants on the fire.

Hitting: Everyone on the team (with few exceptions) is hitting .225 or lower and waiting for the long-ball. This team offense reminds me of 60s Sox teams, except those squads routinely faced better pitching and still hit for a higher team average.

"Pitching"
Aardsma, Sisco, Logan, McDougal and Masset are all pitching execrably in relief. They have been human rally monkies for the opposition! It’s a wonder that the Sox are still above .500! This pitching staff seems like a lesser version of your 2007 Kansas City Royals. Vazquez still has sixth-inning-itis. (Ozzie could you remove him after 5? What's the deal?) Contreras and Buehrle have looked like wounded gorillas in their last appearances. If this simpering vacillating keeps up till July 4, we will be conducting another White Flag sale. I could see Vazquez and Contreras going to contenders for hundreds of prospects and cash. Lookit here, Logan and Sisco may never be major league quality pitchers, let's send them to the Yankees. Aardsma and McDougal may need a taste of AAA to wake themselves up. (Or, is a mid-summer demotion allowed nowadays?). Jenks and Thornton have been good in relief, the rest NO!

Outfield Defense, as in "Could I get me some?"
The outfield defense remains as terrible as last year. At least Pablo Ozuna is on the DL so he can’t misplay routine fly balls. But Mackowiak is still feeling for the ball. Putting infield smurfs like these two in the outfield line-up on a full-time basis is a major blunder on the part of the Kenny Sox. Podsednik is really pretty bad as well, so when he returns, the defense won’t be improving much. Sweeney and Anderson could at least go get the ball out there. Sweeney was also seen to do situation hitting, something foreign to Ozuna, Anderson and Mackowiak. Why not platoon Sweeney and Anderson (or Owens) in left and let Mackowiak be the Don Zimmer type utility man he was signed to be? Two of those could not possibly hit any worse than the other two have done so far. They could make the team .225 minimum.

Shortstop
Let's promote Cintron to starting shortstop. The other guy is too caught up with non-baseball stuff to perform. I'm starting to forget his name he's so bad. Yeah, he can field this year, but how much mojo does it take to swing at every ****ing pitch? (Oh, yeah - his name is Uribe!)