Evil Empire of the North 7, Sox 6
The New Jaime Navarro is Found
David Aardsma looked like the second coming of Turk Lown until the Cubs Series, now he looks like the second coming of Jaime Navarro (Ouch! Sorry about that one). Aardsma has actually walked in the winning run against the Twins to cement a sweep of the Sox IN MINNESOTA!!!!!
“What can Aardsma do to atone for this thunderous act of betrayal?” you ask. Unfortunately, I don’t have that answer. This is awful.
Ozzie Agonistes
After the game, Ozzie was even more disturbed that he was before the game, offering himself as human sacrifice to the fierce, blood-thirsty and hungering gods of horsehide. He hinted that there would be changes, trades perhaps.
Ozzie, remove yourself from the pyre, please! If there is to be a human sacrifice of a White Sox, may I nominate David Aardsma? (I knew there must be a reason the Chicago Contaminated Cubs wanted to get rid of him!)
Bad Day in Blacksox Rock
It was also not lost on the Soutside Faithful that the Twins moved ahead of the Sox in the Central Standings. Current rankings: 1. Cleveland 2. Detroit 3. Minnesota 4. White Sox 5. Kansas City. O Infamy! David Aardsma, could you throw a strike? This year?
Tonight’s Fond Thought
Tonight, Mark Buehrle (who practically has to throw a no-hitter to get a “W”) faces Roy Halliday and the Toronto Blue Jays. Blue Jays are large, nasty birds and their ilk includes the fallen giant of Sox-dom, Frank Thomas. Mark, please introduce Frank’s bottom to the dirt of the batter’s box. Make him sit with some chin-music, please.
A Plea to the Wheaties Box Sox Man
Mark Buehrle, please restore some order to the house of the Sox. You were here before the Golden Year. You have the capability and the understanding to right the wrongs of the previous evening. Caulk the holes and then have a serious discussion with Aardsma about what it is to be a White Sox pitcher, what the strike zone is for, what the meaning of the Wheaties box is. Restore the order before the disorder restores the old order.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Could we beat the Twinkies for a change? Could we boof Bonser?
Twins 9 Sox 2 HIGHEST FRUSTRATION LEVEL
Smelly White Sox flap in the synthetic Minnesota breeze in mute decrepitude as the Twinkies appear Olympian, stainless, and unassailable.
Bad relief pitching makes bad starting pitching worse, but I switched off the game after Danks surrendered a second Babe Ruth – style bomb to make the score 5-1 in the third. Masset later entered to pour creosote, gasoline and other accelerants on the fire.
Hitting: Everyone on the team (with few exceptions) is hitting .225 or lower and waiting for the long-ball. This team offense reminds me of 60s Sox teams, except those squads routinely faced better pitching and still hit for a higher team average.
"Pitching"
Aardsma, Sisco, Logan, McDougal and Masset are all pitching execrably in relief. They have been human rally monkies for the opposition! It’s a wonder that the Sox are still above .500! This pitching staff seems like a lesser version of your 2007 Kansas City Royals. Vazquez still has sixth-inning-itis. (Ozzie could you remove him after 5? What's the deal?) Contreras and Buehrle have looked like wounded gorillas in their last appearances. If this simpering vacillating keeps up till July 4, we will be conducting another White Flag sale. I could see Vazquez and Contreras going to contenders for hundreds of prospects and cash. Lookit here, Logan and Sisco may never be major league quality pitchers, let's send them to the Yankees. Aardsma and McDougal may need a taste of AAA to wake themselves up. (Or, is a mid-summer demotion allowed nowadays?). Jenks and Thornton have been good in relief, the rest NO!
Outfield Defense, as in "Could I get me some?"
The outfield defense remains as terrible as last year. At least Pablo Ozuna is on the DL so he can’t misplay routine fly balls. But Mackowiak is still feeling for the ball. Putting infield smurfs like these two in the outfield line-up on a full-time basis is a major blunder on the part of the Kenny Sox. Podsednik is really pretty bad as well, so when he returns, the defense won’t be improving much. Sweeney and Anderson could at least go get the ball out there. Sweeney was also seen to do situation hitting, something foreign to Ozuna, Anderson and Mackowiak. Why not platoon Sweeney and Anderson (or Owens) in left and let Mackowiak be the Don Zimmer type utility man he was signed to be? Two of those could not possibly hit any worse than the other two have done so far. They could make the team .225 minimum.
Shortstop
Let's promote Cintron to starting shortstop. The other guy is too caught up with non-baseball stuff to perform. I'm starting to forget his name he's so bad. Yeah, he can field this year, but how much mojo does it take to swing at every ****ing pitch? (Oh, yeah - his name is Uribe!)
Smelly White Sox flap in the synthetic Minnesota breeze in mute decrepitude as the Twinkies appear Olympian, stainless, and unassailable.
Bad relief pitching makes bad starting pitching worse, but I switched off the game after Danks surrendered a second Babe Ruth – style bomb to make the score 5-1 in the third. Masset later entered to pour creosote, gasoline and other accelerants on the fire.
Hitting: Everyone on the team (with few exceptions) is hitting .225 or lower and waiting for the long-ball. This team offense reminds me of 60s Sox teams, except those squads routinely faced better pitching and still hit for a higher team average.
"Pitching"
Aardsma, Sisco, Logan, McDougal and Masset are all pitching execrably in relief. They have been human rally monkies for the opposition! It’s a wonder that the Sox are still above .500! This pitching staff seems like a lesser version of your 2007 Kansas City Royals. Vazquez still has sixth-inning-itis. (Ozzie could you remove him after 5? What's the deal?) Contreras and Buehrle have looked like wounded gorillas in their last appearances. If this simpering vacillating keeps up till July 4, we will be conducting another White Flag sale. I could see Vazquez and Contreras going to contenders for hundreds of prospects and cash. Lookit here, Logan and Sisco may never be major league quality pitchers, let's send them to the Yankees. Aardsma and McDougal may need a taste of AAA to wake themselves up. (Or, is a mid-summer demotion allowed nowadays?). Jenks and Thornton have been good in relief, the rest NO!
Outfield Defense, as in "Could I get me some?"
The outfield defense remains as terrible as last year. At least Pablo Ozuna is on the DL so he can’t misplay routine fly balls. But Mackowiak is still feeling for the ball. Putting infield smurfs like these two in the outfield line-up on a full-time basis is a major blunder on the part of the Kenny Sox. Podsednik is really pretty bad as well, so when he returns, the defense won’t be improving much. Sweeney and Anderson could at least go get the ball out there. Sweeney was also seen to do situation hitting, something foreign to Ozuna, Anderson and Mackowiak. Why not platoon Sweeney and Anderson (or Owens) in left and let Mackowiak be the Don Zimmer type utility man he was signed to be? Two of those could not possibly hit any worse than the other two have done so far. They could make the team .225 minimum.
Shortstop
Let's promote Cintron to starting shortstop. The other guy is too caught up with non-baseball stuff to perform. I'm starting to forget his name he's so bad. Yeah, he can field this year, but how much mojo does it take to swing at every ****ing pitch? (Oh, yeah - his name is Uribe!)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
