Best Sox pitcher since Billy Pierce, the man on the Wheaties Box, should we sign him? (rhetorical question)
Buehrle for $14M a year or $56M for #56 - this is "a good deal" in 2007 MLB terms (and only in those terms, for sure). Sign him, Kenny! The Sox are apparently opposed to the no-trade clause. Huh? Sign him for four years to trade him? The subtlety of their thinking is eluding me. Yes, they are still feeling the sting of Jaime Navarro, but most teams have such memories. For godsake this is the fastest working pitcher in baseball - let's resign for that if nothing else.
A Pulse on the SouthSide
I'm seeing signs of life in the Sox. Podsednik got injured again and Owens stepped right back in - I think the Sox are alive. I would say this is the end of Pods, but who knows? He drives the lineup when he is in there. You have to question his conditioning - what is he doing, eating a breakfast of anobolic steroids?
Sox 11 nO's 6
The Sox continue to pound the lesser teams of the American League - let us proceed to Minnesota to see how we do against the dreaded Twinkies. We beat them, then pound the O's again in Baltimore after the break we then get a test against Cleveland, Boston and Detroit. The truth of the season will reveal itself soon. If the Sox win all of those series, we may have something left in the tank for all of that.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
2 in a row
After going 5-22, the Sox have won two in a row in Tampa. This could become a trend, with 2 more in Tampa against no-name pitchers and a 3 game set in Kansas City against the last place (barely) Royals.
A couple of good things - Scott Podsednik is back at lead-off and hitting and running well, sparking both of these wins. Also, Andy Gonzalez is pounding the ball since Ozzie put him second in the batting order - who'd a believed it? The relievers pitched scoreless ball the last two nights - unbelievable. I'm thinking things might be looking up, even if we are playing the perennially worst team in baseball, the fightin fish.
A couple of good things - Scott Podsednik is back at lead-off and hitting and running well, sparking both of these wins. Also, Andy Gonzalez is pounding the ball since Ozzie put him second in the batting order - who'd a believed it? The relievers pitched scoreless ball the last two nights - unbelievable. I'm thinking things might be looking up, even if we are playing the perennially worst team in baseball, the fightin fish.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Death knell overheard to Toll Mightily, Sox tatter and stain
BJs 4, Sox 3
(hey, at least they stole 3 bases)
Thome, ever the positive force, homers and announces that there are 110 games to go, a modest streak will put us right back in it.
Even a modest streak is impossible to imagine with the team hitting below the Mendoza line for the last month and the bullpen pitching at the rate of 9.06 runs per game over the last 22 games.
Joe Crede, grow your hair back, man! That Samson thing is in full effect! Paulie, try to hit one up the middle!
The last two glaring losses to the formerly struggling Bleu Jaix featured extreme give-aways by McDougal (enough!), Aardsma (more than enough!) and Masset (et tu?). (Oz won’t even let Sisco near the mound anymore.)
If Kenny is promising a re-do, lets hope it comes today. I vote for emptying the bullpen of everyone but Thornton and Jenks – our current crew is shell-shocked, burnt-out, dazed & confused. They're all just obviously waiting for the axe to fall. They should all be inspecting the universe from the back end of Triple A busses by this time tomorrow or all be traded for a bag of practice balls and a new Hammond B-52 organ for Nancy Faust. I really can’t picture anyone wanting these guys for a major league team – well, maybe the Reds would take them? McDougal can’t even find the plate well enough to resemble a good batting practice pitcher. (But, he says his "confidence is good out there!" Say what?)
The latest rumor, your 2005 World Series MVP for Oz-friend Bobby Abreu rates in the “Say it ain’t so, Joe!” category of harsh Sox rumors of history. Dye for nothing is preferable. I’ve been watching Abreu play for the Yanks this year. He is now “No Field, No Hit High Pay Bobby”. His batting eye is gone and he’s been looking worse than Pablo Ozuna in right field. Philadelphia hated him when he was going good because he was one of those “front-runner” type hitters: if the Phils were ahead 8-0, he hit like Babe Ruth, if the Phils were down a run in the late innings, he hit like a wounded, lefty version of Brian Anderson. His salary is something like a trillion dollars a year, too. If you thought you didn’t like George Bell, well just wait. Hell, Mackowiak is a better right fielder than this self-impressed, over-inflated underperformer.
Again, here’s my outfield: Left: Ryan Sweeney. Center: Brian Anderson. Right: Jerry Owens. It couldn’t be much worse than what we have. I think these guys could hit in the high .220s at least. Trade Dye to San Francisco for their first five draft picks and a couple of AA pitching prospects and Ray Durham if you have to trade him.
I’m glad that Nelson Fox and Luke Appling aren’t around to see this mess! O, the humanity!
(hey, at least they stole 3 bases)
Thome, ever the positive force, homers and announces that there are 110 games to go, a modest streak will put us right back in it.
Even a modest streak is impossible to imagine with the team hitting below the Mendoza line for the last month and the bullpen pitching at the rate of 9.06 runs per game over the last 22 games.
Joe Crede, grow your hair back, man! That Samson thing is in full effect! Paulie, try to hit one up the middle!
The last two glaring losses to the formerly struggling Bleu Jaix featured extreme give-aways by McDougal (enough!), Aardsma (more than enough!) and Masset (et tu?). (Oz won’t even let Sisco near the mound anymore.)
If Kenny is promising a re-do, lets hope it comes today. I vote for emptying the bullpen of everyone but Thornton and Jenks – our current crew is shell-shocked, burnt-out, dazed & confused. They're all just obviously waiting for the axe to fall. They should all be inspecting the universe from the back end of Triple A busses by this time tomorrow or all be traded for a bag of practice balls and a new Hammond B-52 organ for Nancy Faust. I really can’t picture anyone wanting these guys for a major league team – well, maybe the Reds would take them? McDougal can’t even find the plate well enough to resemble a good batting practice pitcher. (But, he says his "confidence is good out there!" Say what?)
The latest rumor, your 2005 World Series MVP for Oz-friend Bobby Abreu rates in the “Say it ain’t so, Joe!” category of harsh Sox rumors of history. Dye for nothing is preferable. I’ve been watching Abreu play for the Yanks this year. He is now “No Field, No Hit High Pay Bobby”. His batting eye is gone and he’s been looking worse than Pablo Ozuna in right field. Philadelphia hated him when he was going good because he was one of those “front-runner” type hitters: if the Phils were ahead 8-0, he hit like Babe Ruth, if the Phils were down a run in the late innings, he hit like a wounded, lefty version of Brian Anderson. His salary is something like a trillion dollars a year, too. If you thought you didn’t like George Bell, well just wait. Hell, Mackowiak is a better right fielder than this self-impressed, over-inflated underperformer.
Again, here’s my outfield: Left: Ryan Sweeney. Center: Brian Anderson. Right: Jerry Owens. It couldn’t be much worse than what we have. I think these guys could hit in the high .220s at least. Trade Dye to San Francisco for their first five draft picks and a couple of AA pitching prospects and Ray Durham if you have to trade him.
I’m glad that Nelson Fox and Luke Appling aren’t around to see this mess! O, the humanity!
Friday, June 1, 2007
Buehrle Doesn't Pitch No-Hitter, Loses: Back-slide at 5 straight
Big Dirty Loud Birds 2, Sox 0
Buehrle should have taken my advice and knocked The Big Hurt onto his kiester, then the Sox would only have lost 1-0.
My Proposed Sox lineup: Charlotte Hornets lineup
Trade Iguchi, Crede, Konerko, Dye, Thome, Mackowiak, Uribe (if anybody wants him), McDougal, Podsednik, (when he returns) for all the Blue Chip prospects known to man. Trade the starters except for Garland and Buehrle. Let the other three starter spots shake out between all the young arms. Keep AJ. We're totally buried behind Cleveland and Detroit and this plan has a better chance for success than status quo.
Stick a fork in them. Good God, they're as bad as the Yankees!
Buehrle should have taken my advice and knocked The Big Hurt onto his kiester, then the Sox would only have lost 1-0.
My Proposed Sox lineup: Charlotte Hornets lineup
Trade Iguchi, Crede, Konerko, Dye, Thome, Mackowiak, Uribe (if anybody wants him), McDougal, Podsednik, (when he returns) for all the Blue Chip prospects known to man. Trade the starters except for Garland and Buehrle. Let the other three starter spots shake out between all the young arms. Keep AJ. We're totally buried behind Cleveland and Detroit and this plan has a better chance for success than status quo.
Stick a fork in them. Good God, they're as bad as the Yankees!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Twins Persecute Sox Fans With an Infinity of Torture, Destroying Their Minds Entirely
Evil Empire of the North 7, Sox 6
The New Jaime Navarro is Found
David Aardsma looked like the second coming of Turk Lown until the Cubs Series, now he looks like the second coming of Jaime Navarro (Ouch! Sorry about that one). Aardsma has actually walked in the winning run against the Twins to cement a sweep of the Sox IN MINNESOTA!!!!!
“What can Aardsma do to atone for this thunderous act of betrayal?” you ask. Unfortunately, I don’t have that answer. This is awful.
Ozzie Agonistes
After the game, Ozzie was even more disturbed that he was before the game, offering himself as human sacrifice to the fierce, blood-thirsty and hungering gods of horsehide. He hinted that there would be changes, trades perhaps.
Ozzie, remove yourself from the pyre, please! If there is to be a human sacrifice of a White Sox, may I nominate David Aardsma? (I knew there must be a reason the Chicago Contaminated Cubs wanted to get rid of him!)
Bad Day in Blacksox Rock
It was also not lost on the Soutside Faithful that the Twins moved ahead of the Sox in the Central Standings. Current rankings: 1. Cleveland 2. Detroit 3. Minnesota 4. White Sox 5. Kansas City. O Infamy! David Aardsma, could you throw a strike? This year?
Tonight’s Fond Thought
Tonight, Mark Buehrle (who practically has to throw a no-hitter to get a “W”) faces Roy Halliday and the Toronto Blue Jays. Blue Jays are large, nasty birds and their ilk includes the fallen giant of Sox-dom, Frank Thomas. Mark, please introduce Frank’s bottom to the dirt of the batter’s box. Make him sit with some chin-music, please.
A Plea to the Wheaties Box Sox Man
Mark Buehrle, please restore some order to the house of the Sox. You were here before the Golden Year. You have the capability and the understanding to right the wrongs of the previous evening. Caulk the holes and then have a serious discussion with Aardsma about what it is to be a White Sox pitcher, what the strike zone is for, what the meaning of the Wheaties box is. Restore the order before the disorder restores the old order.
The New Jaime Navarro is Found
David Aardsma looked like the second coming of Turk Lown until the Cubs Series, now he looks like the second coming of Jaime Navarro (Ouch! Sorry about that one). Aardsma has actually walked in the winning run against the Twins to cement a sweep of the Sox IN MINNESOTA!!!!!
“What can Aardsma do to atone for this thunderous act of betrayal?” you ask. Unfortunately, I don’t have that answer. This is awful.
Ozzie Agonistes
After the game, Ozzie was even more disturbed that he was before the game, offering himself as human sacrifice to the fierce, blood-thirsty and hungering gods of horsehide. He hinted that there would be changes, trades perhaps.
Ozzie, remove yourself from the pyre, please! If there is to be a human sacrifice of a White Sox, may I nominate David Aardsma? (I knew there must be a reason the Chicago Contaminated Cubs wanted to get rid of him!)
Bad Day in Blacksox Rock
It was also not lost on the Soutside Faithful that the Twins moved ahead of the Sox in the Central Standings. Current rankings: 1. Cleveland 2. Detroit 3. Minnesota 4. White Sox 5. Kansas City. O Infamy! David Aardsma, could you throw a strike? This year?
Tonight’s Fond Thought
Tonight, Mark Buehrle (who practically has to throw a no-hitter to get a “W”) faces Roy Halliday and the Toronto Blue Jays. Blue Jays are large, nasty birds and their ilk includes the fallen giant of Sox-dom, Frank Thomas. Mark, please introduce Frank’s bottom to the dirt of the batter’s box. Make him sit with some chin-music, please.
A Plea to the Wheaties Box Sox Man
Mark Buehrle, please restore some order to the house of the Sox. You were here before the Golden Year. You have the capability and the understanding to right the wrongs of the previous evening. Caulk the holes and then have a serious discussion with Aardsma about what it is to be a White Sox pitcher, what the strike zone is for, what the meaning of the Wheaties box is. Restore the order before the disorder restores the old order.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Could we beat the Twinkies for a change? Could we boof Bonser?
Twins 9 Sox 2 HIGHEST FRUSTRATION LEVEL
Smelly White Sox flap in the synthetic Minnesota breeze in mute decrepitude as the Twinkies appear Olympian, stainless, and unassailable.
Bad relief pitching makes bad starting pitching worse, but I switched off the game after Danks surrendered a second Babe Ruth – style bomb to make the score 5-1 in the third. Masset later entered to pour creosote, gasoline and other accelerants on the fire.
Hitting: Everyone on the team (with few exceptions) is hitting .225 or lower and waiting for the long-ball. This team offense reminds me of 60s Sox teams, except those squads routinely faced better pitching and still hit for a higher team average.
"Pitching"
Aardsma, Sisco, Logan, McDougal and Masset are all pitching execrably in relief. They have been human rally monkies for the opposition! It’s a wonder that the Sox are still above .500! This pitching staff seems like a lesser version of your 2007 Kansas City Royals. Vazquez still has sixth-inning-itis. (Ozzie could you remove him after 5? What's the deal?) Contreras and Buehrle have looked like wounded gorillas in their last appearances. If this simpering vacillating keeps up till July 4, we will be conducting another White Flag sale. I could see Vazquez and Contreras going to contenders for hundreds of prospects and cash. Lookit here, Logan and Sisco may never be major league quality pitchers, let's send them to the Yankees. Aardsma and McDougal may need a taste of AAA to wake themselves up. (Or, is a mid-summer demotion allowed nowadays?). Jenks and Thornton have been good in relief, the rest NO!
Outfield Defense, as in "Could I get me some?"
The outfield defense remains as terrible as last year. At least Pablo Ozuna is on the DL so he can’t misplay routine fly balls. But Mackowiak is still feeling for the ball. Putting infield smurfs like these two in the outfield line-up on a full-time basis is a major blunder on the part of the Kenny Sox. Podsednik is really pretty bad as well, so when he returns, the defense won’t be improving much. Sweeney and Anderson could at least go get the ball out there. Sweeney was also seen to do situation hitting, something foreign to Ozuna, Anderson and Mackowiak. Why not platoon Sweeney and Anderson (or Owens) in left and let Mackowiak be the Don Zimmer type utility man he was signed to be? Two of those could not possibly hit any worse than the other two have done so far. They could make the team .225 minimum.
Shortstop
Let's promote Cintron to starting shortstop. The other guy is too caught up with non-baseball stuff to perform. I'm starting to forget his name he's so bad. Yeah, he can field this year, but how much mojo does it take to swing at every ****ing pitch? (Oh, yeah - his name is Uribe!)
Smelly White Sox flap in the synthetic Minnesota breeze in mute decrepitude as the Twinkies appear Olympian, stainless, and unassailable.
Bad relief pitching makes bad starting pitching worse, but I switched off the game after Danks surrendered a second Babe Ruth – style bomb to make the score 5-1 in the third. Masset later entered to pour creosote, gasoline and other accelerants on the fire.
Hitting: Everyone on the team (with few exceptions) is hitting .225 or lower and waiting for the long-ball. This team offense reminds me of 60s Sox teams, except those squads routinely faced better pitching and still hit for a higher team average.
"Pitching"
Aardsma, Sisco, Logan, McDougal and Masset are all pitching execrably in relief. They have been human rally monkies for the opposition! It’s a wonder that the Sox are still above .500! This pitching staff seems like a lesser version of your 2007 Kansas City Royals. Vazquez still has sixth-inning-itis. (Ozzie could you remove him after 5? What's the deal?) Contreras and Buehrle have looked like wounded gorillas in their last appearances. If this simpering vacillating keeps up till July 4, we will be conducting another White Flag sale. I could see Vazquez and Contreras going to contenders for hundreds of prospects and cash. Lookit here, Logan and Sisco may never be major league quality pitchers, let's send them to the Yankees. Aardsma and McDougal may need a taste of AAA to wake themselves up. (Or, is a mid-summer demotion allowed nowadays?). Jenks and Thornton have been good in relief, the rest NO!
Outfield Defense, as in "Could I get me some?"
The outfield defense remains as terrible as last year. At least Pablo Ozuna is on the DL so he can’t misplay routine fly balls. But Mackowiak is still feeling for the ball. Putting infield smurfs like these two in the outfield line-up on a full-time basis is a major blunder on the part of the Kenny Sox. Podsednik is really pretty bad as well, so when he returns, the defense won’t be improving much. Sweeney and Anderson could at least go get the ball out there. Sweeney was also seen to do situation hitting, something foreign to Ozuna, Anderson and Mackowiak. Why not platoon Sweeney and Anderson (or Owens) in left and let Mackowiak be the Don Zimmer type utility man he was signed to be? Two of those could not possibly hit any worse than the other two have done so far. They could make the team .225 minimum.
Shortstop
Let's promote Cintron to starting shortstop. The other guy is too caught up with non-baseball stuff to perform. I'm starting to forget his name he's so bad. Yeah, he can field this year, but how much mojo does it take to swing at every ****ing pitch? (Oh, yeah - his name is Uribe!)
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